On Hitting On And Being Hit On By Thai Girls

We just checked into a small hotel by the river in a small town called Amphawa. The hotel is nicely decorated in a contemporary Thai style. We have been here a few times before and love what the place has to offer. Their friendly staff gives you the feeling similar to what you have when you stay at a bed and breakfast hotel in the United States. The owner is a skinny Thai-Chinese gentleman who speaks perfect English and polished Thai, obviously Western-educated. He is friendly and polite. He warmly welcomed us every time we were there.

After checking in today we were guided to our room which was the same room we stay every time. I proceeded to put away our bags in the room. Mr. JTG was twenty feet behind me and was still on the porch. As I was putting down our stuff in the room and on the way to help Mr., I heard a high-pitched, upbeat female voice saying “Hi, how are you?”

I stepped out of the room in a millisecond and took a look at the creature that phonated in such a way we fellow women the world over consider fake (Female readers know what I am talking about!). The first things that struck me about the girl were her super low-cut, sleeveless top, her skinniness and noticeably lack of endowment in the breast department. Women size other women up. This is universally normal.

Have you heard about women’s sixth sense and how we mark our territory? All I can say is it was JUST a coincident that I happened to walk toward Mr. and gently put my arm around his. (“Uh huh, coincidence”.. says Mister) “Let’s go.” I said then flashed a fake smile at the girl. But it was not before she suddenly lost the radiance on her face and exclaimed “Oh..” when she saw me walking toward him. She walked away without saying a word to either of us.

Mr. JTG could not contain himself. He found himself laughing at the incident for a good five or ten minutes and it remained a topic of our conversation and laughs for the entire afternoon.

I mentioned how women size other women up. After my seven years in America studying in Los Angeles mingling with students at my dorm and my acquaintances from various cultures, I can say for certain that sizing up is what females do, regardless of culture. I sized the skinny girl up and she for sure did the same. Here is a probable result of our sizing up each other:

Her	Me
Late twenties to early thirties	Mid to late thirties, passed expiration date by an average monger’s standard
Seriously skinny, probably a size 0 or 2	Significantly chunkier, 3-4 sizes larger
NO BOOBS! No cleavage showing despite her low-cut top .. poor thing..	Significantly more endowed in the upper trunk department
Well-to-do, gathered from her clothes and jewelries	Same
A 7.245 Chinese-Thai from a one-to-ten scale	An 8 [or so I want to think.] Chinese-Thai
Sounds educated, probably in a Western country. Good English but still has a Thai accent so probably did not stay in that whatever country for that long.	Cannot tell. She only says, Let’s go.
Well mannered and friendly (obviously with Mr. only)	A Big B!
In Sum: She could definitely be a threat if I was not with Mr. JTG knowing what he’s looking for in a woman and what he has found in me. A LAUGH, NOT A THREAT.	In Sum: NOT A THREAT but why is he with this old, wide, bitchy woman when there is a sweet skinny young thing like me around? This does not make any sense!

This incident reminds me of when I stayed at the best hotel in Khon Kaen last year on a semi-business trip. I travelled with a 40 year-old good looking Englishman with a set of expensive Tumi suitcases, and an old Australian guy in his early seventies. Upon waiting at the check-in a female hotel employee walked up to the English guy and apologized for the wait at the front desk and completely ignored the old guy and me. Once she observed us checking in to three different rooms, she invited herself into the elevator we were riding and said to the English guy that she would take him to his room, again, completely ignoring the old guy and me. First class service for the younger, richer looking man only!

However, both of these girls I mentioned had some etiquette. The first girl backed off when she realized his woman was there. The other made sure I was not with the man before approaching him. There are other girls who are just plain rude and in your face. There have been occasions that I was being sized up by girls at restaurants, in malls, or wherever we conduct business in person. They would look at him and giggle with their friends right in my face, probably thinking a skinny young thing like them would stand a better chance with my guy. Some even outright try to flirt with him in my presence. I used to be bothered so much about this but now I am just annoyed and laugh about it. It’s a little sad that they think only their looks can get them any guy, sad that they learn through socialization that they don’t need more.

Mr. JTG often told me about him getting offers from girls everywhere he goes. First I thought he was bragging, but as things were playing out after I have been with him for quite a while, I learned that he was not bragging. There are women’s phone numbers everywhere. You can find them on a maintenance work order from his car dealership, a receipt for camera cleaning, in his wallet, a cubby in his car, or in his knapsack. They are literally everywhere. He said it would be rude if he would not take them. He would give them to me when he received them. I think it is his smiles that girls think are so welcoming and they would give it a try.

Thai women hitting up on you is so common in Thailand like you would not believe and I have seen with my own eyes on more than one occasion. Mr. JTG has been trying to tell many of his expat friends that they do not need to go online to look for a relationship. If only they have at least average looks and have some personality, they can be successful hitting up girls in the real world. The truth is there are so many Thai girls who are looking either to casually hook up or for a real relationship with a Westerner for many different reasons. For Western men this is good news. But for a Thai woman in a relationship with a Western man? BAD news!

I find it generally true about how Mister always says it must be hard being a Thai woman in a relationship with a farang in Thailand. I can see how your women can never have peace of mind when they know how many women are out there to make offers. Thailand is not a place for the faint of heart if you have a white boyfriend. Competition is fierce out there and there are girls who cannot wait to make you feel so insecure about yourself by sizing you up and blatantly giving your guy offers. You cannot really blame it on your lady if she is super jealous.

There are a few significant reasons that he is hit on often though he is not Brad Pitt. Let’s take a look at some of these elements (I am sure they apply to everyone.):

From my experience and observations, I have come to the conclusion that middle class Thai women and higher are normally attracted to clean-cut men. We like someone with short hair, cleanly shaven, and at least reasonably in shape. Facial hair often associates with bad guys. It makes you look mean. If you don’t trim or style your facial hair, a Thai saying that compares you to a criminal would then spring into our minds.

My Mister, while not a Brad Pitt, has the looks that Thai women like. He is 5’11”, big build, short hair, cleanly shaven. Our very own Mr. Stick has the looks that he can get hit on or successfully by most Thai women himself. I am not sure if he is aware of that!

I doubt if any bearded guy in cargo shorts, Chang Beer sleeveless t-shirt, a baseball cap, and Jesus sandals has much attention from upper middle class girls because these are signature looks of a backpacker we generally call “Farang Kee Nok” (Bird Poop Farang), or a sex tourist you see all the time on Soi Nana.

You don’t need to carry a designer wallet or wear a designer shirt or shoes. You only need to wear something clean. A shirt and a pair of jeans would do in a casual occasion. Do not worry about wearing a designer replica product because we smell them miles away.

We educated upper middle class women with status and real career want to be proud when we are spotted with you. Who knows if and when we will bump into our boss or career rivals in a mall we are hanging out with you. Thai people are particularly interested in your personal life. They ‘discuss things’ about you behind your back all the time and we all know how face is important here. Mr. JTG never let me down when we go out, especially to events that are important for my career. These are events with presence of important people in the country. He would dress up nicely in his Armani suit, dress watch, and dress shoes. He knows those events are important to me and there would be big people that I would introduce him to. But what is more than what he wears is how he has social graces and carries intelligent conversations with everyone on almost every topic. I can be proud to introduce him to my so-called hi-so people because I know he would not make a fool of himself and therefore be detrimental to my career. Having said that brings us to the next topic: personality. <I really think this paragraph is critical and guys should take note. CRITICAL - Stick>

I don’t know why people think Thai women are different from our Western counterpart. I have been saying that all women are the same the world over. What you do to impress women in the West also works with Thai women. When you hit up on a bar girl you definitely do not need any of your personality because it is a business transaction after all. As long as you have the money, there will be someone who would be willing to be barfined. But personality goes a long way with regular women.

There are certain types of women who are looking to control men, but generally we look for someone we can look up to and someone who can make us feel feminine—someone acting confident. Women respond well to real men. We can hardly tell at a glance whether the guy is a real man. It is a quality that reveals itself over time. What we can tell at a glance, however, is how confident he looks. If you look like you do not know what to say to us or come up with the most stupid pick up line, you will not succeed. I cannot count how many guys I made a point to let him know that their pick up lines were as dumb as a rock. Be confident and tell us you want to go out with us because we are impressive in some unique way.

SMILE. This is what is lacking in many Western people. I lost my smile after seven years in America where people think you look stupid if you smile at them for no reason. This does not apply in Thailand. We like smiley people. We think they are friendly. Mr. JTG is a culprit of smiling too much and getting all the attention from girls everywhere as a result. Try that and you will see it opens up the door to talk to Thai girls everywhere.

For some reason we think if you are in Thailand, you had better like our country and put up with all the crappy service and everything around you. That is to basically adopt the “Mai Pen Rai” mindset, be happy, and SMILE! If you complain about everything on the first date or show your pessimistic views on things, we would start to wonder what the heck you are doing in Thailand and we sooner or later pull the famous defensive line “You don’t understand our culture”, and probably followed by “Why don’t you go back to your country?”

That reminds me of someone I knew. He has a master’s degree from Columbia University, which is one of the best universities in America. He is now in his late 40’s and has been working in Thailand for over ten years. He was nice looking, clean-shaven and lived in a fancy condo in Thonglor area. He sounds like a good catch. However, he had trouble going past the first dates. The only reason is this guy is one of the most pessimistic people in the world. Everything pissed him off. Nothing in Thailand is going right. I never thought of dating him because I had trouble seeing pass his attitude.

Believe it or not, you attitude reflects in how you talk, and even how you look. It is how we tell how fun you are to be around.

You would be surprised to know how many Thai girls these days are looking for a relationship with a Western man. Upper middle class women are no exception but our criteria about guys we are interested in are different from girls most farangs are dating. Not just any white guy will do. There are many submissions on this website that say we would not go out with you if you are over forty years old and not rich. I vouch this is not true. It is all about how you carry yourself. Try the qualities I mentioned above and see if you are more successful. They can open the door to get to know someone (keeping a relationship is a whole different story though.) Who knows, you might be hit on all the time just like my Mr. JTG!